AN ACCEPTANCE SPEECH FOR OUR LINCOLN HALL SHOW THIS SUNDAY

!!REPUBLICAN!!WHITES!!WIN!!OFFICE!!

I really wanna take this opportunity to thank a few special people such as MY ROOMMATE he’s been really supportive and  a lot better at washing his own dishes which is great because that means I DONT HAVE TO WASH MY ROOMMATES DISHES he’s really there for me like when Im trying to fall asleep and wishing someone would wake me up so I can rip hard into a bong or listen to cut copy really loud BECAUSE THOSE ARE MY FAVORITE ACTIVITIES AT 4 IN THE MORNING just all in all super supportive.

And I want to thank my mom for being a mom so I don’t have to be a mom because lord knows I’m nobody’s mom because moms wouldn’t be cool with leaving pizza under my bed or clearly using my shampoo or leaving pizza in the dryer or WASHING MY ROOMMATES DISHES I’m totally cool with all that.

I think it’s really big of my roommate that, since I found the BOWLS OF ROTTING MILK under the bed when I had to sneak into your room because the smell had become unbearable and I wanted to make sure that A PERSON HADN’T DIED IN THERE, it’s really big of you that you’ve promised not to leave bowls of two week old milk just lying around. Your growth has been inspirational to me.

THANKS TO THE ACADEMY AND COME SEE OUR SHOW ON SUNDAY

LINCOLN HALL AT 7PM

REPUBLIC OF LIGHTS

GLITTERMOUSE

OIL FIELDS

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[REPUBLICOFLIGHTS]ANNOUNCES

*RIP/PUBLICO__LITE-SAND/OUNCES*

!!REPUBLICAN!!WHITES!!WIN!!OFFICE!!

REPUBLIC OF LIGHTS IS HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT

BRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIPPPPPP

[THAT WAS THE SOUND THAT THEY MAKE IN THE RAP VIDEOS WHEN AT FIRST IT’S A PARTY AT A COUNTRY CLUB AND THEN OH NO THE RAPPERS SHOW UP HOW DID THEY EVEN GET PAST THE GUARDS WE HAVE RULES IN PLACE FOR THIS SORT OF THING SOMEONE IS GETTING FIRED UNLESS THIS NELLY VIDEO IS SUPER OFF THE CHAIN]

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REPUBLIC OF LIGHTS FOLLOWERS! THIS IS THE REPUBLICAN WHITES COALITION FOR STRONGER FAMILIES AND SAFER SOCIETIES! WE HAVE HIJACKED THIS TRANSMISSION TO WARN YOU TO STAY AWAY FROM THE REPUBLIC OF LIGHTS SHOW THIS SATURDAY AT ACE BAR IN CHICAGO! 

WE DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME, BUT WE URGE YOU TO SHIFT AWAY FROM YOUR DRUM CIRCLE ORGY WAYS AND CRYING OVER THAT POLAR BEAR DRIFTING OUT TO SEA LIKE IT HAS SOMETHING BETTER TO DO.

YOUR VERY SOULS ARE AT STAKE—THERE IS SIMPLY TOO MUCH DEBAUCHERY ON THIS BILL AND IF YOU ATTEND THIS SHOW YOU WILL INSTANTLY BECOME:

GAY MARRIED

ADDICTED TO SEXDRUGS

AN ENEMY OF FAMILIES

PRONE TO USING SUMMER AS A VERB

THE GUY WHO QUOTES SOMETHING THEY READ IN THE NEW YORKER AND MAKES SURE THAT THEY MENTIONED WHERE THEY READ IT

A VICTIM OF THE OBAMINABLE OBAMACONOMY

AN INTERNET PIRATE

A MIAMI HEAT FAN

GODLESS HEATHENS, WE REPEAT, TO SAVE YOUR SOULS, DO NOT GO SEE THESE ENEMIES:

REPUBLIC OF LIGHTS

GLITTERMOUSE

THE LETTER GIRL

CARBON TIGERS

LATE IN THE PLAYOFFS

ACE BAR 

1505 W FULLERTON

SATURDAY APRIL 28

8:30

WE ARE SHORT OF TIME! VISIT REPUBLICANWHITES.COM TO AWAIT FURTHER INSTRUCTIONS!

BRRRRRRRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

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NINJA TURTLES OR SOMETHING SILLY LIKE THAT GREG IS ALWAYS REFERENCING BECAUSE HOMEBOY CAN’T FUNCTION WITHOUT AN INFUSION OF NOSTALGIA SRSLY IT’S LIKE A HEROIN ADDICT WITH THAT JUNK

IF YOU HAVEN’T YET 

DOWNLOAD OUR RECORD 

GO ROCOCO

GO ROCOCO

GO ROCOCO

AT 

HTTP://WWW.REPUBLICOFLIGHTS.COM

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